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Showing posts from May, 2013

Rape culture and me

In the midst of war (we are at war if you didn’t know) and three made up scandals in Washington, there were two stories in the news this week that really shook me up.It wasn’t because it was some tragedy or something about the world we live in, it was because it reminded me that I too am a product of society no matter how I fancy myself an outsider.That being said, let’s talk about Amanda Bynes’ front and BeyoncĂ©’s rear.
Story 1:Amanda Bynes gets arrested for throwing a bong out of the window; completely pointless news.No harm no foul.My only problem with that story is that the door man called the cops on her.What kind of punk ass door man is that?Then, Amanda comes out and says that one of the cops patted her vagina during the arrest.Mind you, she would probably be the one billionth customer in the NYC genital violation parade but that’s not the first thing that went to my mind.First thing I thought was “She is pretty hot.I’d like to pat her vagina a few times myself.”
Story 2:BeyoncĂ© …

Year one

Three hundred sixty five days.Yep, it’s been an interesting year.Wrote some blogs, had a daughter, moved, delayed my book through 3 edits, got a new job, lost my dad and my grandma, drank a whole lot of liquor, dropped almost 2000 tweets, saw Killer Mike and Big Boi in concert, gained 15 pounds of muscle, lost 10 pounds of muscle and oh yeah, I stayed married for an entire year.
I gotta tell ya, it’s not what I expected.I’m not saying it’s better or worse but I think it’s only fair that I make some little observations.I’ll make the disclaimer that I love my wife, absolutely love her.Not for one second have I regretted marrying her.That being said, let’s keep it real.
First of all, you know how newlyweds on TV go at it like rabbits?That shit ain’t eeeeeeven true.Matter of fact, it’s worse than not true.It’s just a lie.I find myself trying to get my wife drunk so I can get her naked like she’s my prom date or some shit.Granted, she did get pregnant really early and pregnant women tend not…

The Black Tax

As I watch political show after political show try to blame everything in the world on Barack Obama, I keep asking myself “Where have I seen this before?”The answer is obvious, pretty much every job I’ve ever had where I’ve had the distinction of being the only Black guy.It’s corporate America’s favorite contingency plan, blame the Black guy.
I call it the Black tax.Every Black person that has ever had a job knows that you have to work harder than everybody else or they will call you lazy.You have to be nice to dimwits or they will call you mean.You will have to put up with slights from everyone in the company with a high school diploma because no matter how smart you are, some people just aren’t ready to think a Negro is smarter than them.
You go through all of that and guess what, you still get paid less than any clean cut white dude in the building just because HR liked the cut of his jib.
When America elected Barack, I was so hopeful that somehow we were going to let the brother do h…

The two that got away

I have had a lot of great relationships with women in my life.I couldn’t rate them if I wanted to; that is, accept for the one with my wife, of course.
But, looking back in all my dealings with the opposite sex, there are two women that stand out for two very different reasons.They are the ones that I actually didn’t have a relationship with.Of all the women I’ve dealt with, these two always stand out in my past.These are the two that got away:
I will use false names because I don’t like to embarrass people on the internet.But, I will try to keep the pseudonyms close enough that these women know that I’m talking about them.
Shyra was a goddess.I haven’t seen her in 10 years and to this day, she is the most beautiful woman that I’ve ever seen.She was mixed or something.She had the most beautiful gray eyes that you could get lost in at a single glance.To this day, I don’t know if they were contacts.All I know is that I loved to see them.
Her eyes are what killed me.The rest of her is what k…