I remember wanting to die. I didn't want to kill myself per se, I just wished that I could just go the fuck away. I was a young, skinny teenager that wasn't looking forward to anything outside of video games. What kind of life is that? But teenage life is always stupid. When the lead actor is phoning it in, the play sucks. That is teenage life in America. I wish I could say that only teenagers go dark enough to want to die but we all know that is not true. Life gets so much harder for people that dare to be an adult. As an adult, I get reminded of my younger years because shit still gets dark. When I feel that kind of hopelessness, I still remember the fire that gets lit inside of me. My ability to say "Fuck all of these people." is my super power. It is a necessary tool for me. When all the love I try to spread around begins to fail that flaming hatred for those that I let push me there always comes back. Somehow, it brings the rest of me with it. I
Random Bloggings From a Random Black man.