Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from October, 2015

Two Cheers For Slutty Costumes

Did I ever tell you guys about the time I went down on Wonder Woman?  Duuuuuuude, let me tell you about this time I went down on Wonder Woman.   Remember when I told you about the White woman I was dating that was shaped like Jessica Rabbit?  Yeah, she decided on a Wonder Woman costume one year.  It wasn't particularly slutty, the girl was just stacked.  Bless her heart. Twas a Halloween night, no different from the rest, which means I was getting my drink on.  We were in a college town so there was no shortage flesh being flashed around at whatever watering hole I got dragged to, which could have been a problem since my eyes will wander from time to time.  Not that night.  The nerd and the nigga in me were in full agreement for once and we wanted the Justice League member that we came with. Anyway the night winds down and we get back to my place (sidenote: Having your own place is the shit).  We were there for like 5-10 nano seconds and starts to making out and somehow I ended

I'll Fucking Kill You

You know how there's always a gorilla at the zoo that's sitting there, seemingly chilling, then suddenly he picks up an old tire and throws it at the 5th graders behind the glass for no damned reason?  My sub-conscious is that gorilla. Sometimes I go about my day, eating my Flaming hot Funyons and the like, and something sparks the gorilla.  I calm down nearly as fast but for that split second I have decided to end someone's life.  "Who?", you may ask.  These muafuckas: People That Take Forever to Pick Out a Blunt Wrap at the Gas Station When I'm about to spend my last 10 dollars on enough gasoline to get back and forth to work, I'm already not happy.  When I get behind some fool that can't decide between the strawberry and pineapple blunt wraps and ask the clerk if he/she can look at the packaging to decide, I seriously want to find out how hard it would be to break a human neck.  You no memory having bastard, you clearly aren't going to re