People that I hang with know I'm usually calm and pleasant but that hasn't always been the case. I used to be quiet and morose, which was a drain on my spirit but going back to that isn't the emotion that I fear most. I don't get emotional because I've gone the fuck off before.
If you aren't a person that has been that pissed off before you are one lucky soul. Being that kind of angry is bad for everyone. Especially the fool that gets that mad.
How mad have I been before? Back when I was in high school, on two separate occasions, I almost killed a nigga.
The first time I was about to kill someone, this dude stole my watch. It was shitty and plastic sure, but it was MY fucking watch.
Back story: I was always a loner. I was quiet, small and got absolutely ZERO ass in high school which meant I was a prime target for bullies. Basically I was the opposite of what I am now but deep down I'm very much still that awkward kid.
Anyhoo, we were were in the cafeteria and this kid I used to be cool with asked to see my new plastic watch. We used to be homies so I thought nothing of it. He decided that he wanted to keep it. First I was at the point of tears. He was bigger than me and one of the cooler kids. Not only would he probably have beat me up, everybody probably would have laughed as it happened. Somewhere deep inside, though, my sadness turned to anger, then to rage.
What did I do? I went into the kitchen where they were serving lunch. Why? Because I was looking for a knife. I imagined there was a meat cleaver just lying around back there like they were actually butchering meat (as if there was an actual animal killed in the making of school lunch). Much to my dismay, didn't see any knives. Then I had an epiphany. If you stab hard enough, a fork will do just fine. Perhaps that's why they don't use metal forks anymore. I grabs myself a fork and walk up behind the kid wearing my watch. By some stroke of luck, this nigga still had a rat tail. It was about 1995 is and the rat tail thing was long gone but this nigga still had his. Lucky for him. I planned on grabbing his throat but for some reason I saw that rat tail and grabbed it instead. With my other hand I put my handy dandy stabbing utensil on his neck then I calmly asked for my plastic watch back. For some reason he took that that motherfucker off. I got my watch, went to eat my lunch and calmed down. In hindsight, that incident may have contributed to my lack of sex for the next few years.
Fast forward to my first job, Taco Bell. There was a dude that worked there that was known for making jokes about people. Most of the time he left me alone because he was banging this girl that worked there and the more he talked to me, the more she did too. He didn't like that at all.
Okay, one particular payday I had my check in my back pocket and this asshole proceeded to take it, read it and put it in his own pocket. Once again this dude was much bigger than I. Once again I went from sad to angry to murderous in about 5 seconds. I wasn't looking for a knife this time. This time I had a much better plan. I was going to melt his face with hot grease. I only had one problem, the thing in the hot grease was kind of a colander, it had holes in the bottom and couldn't transport much grease. Again, just as God provided me with a rat tail to avoid spending my life in jail, this time he provided a large order of tacos. The fool that stole my check was busy making tacos. I brought over my grease soaked colander, which wouldn't have melted his face off but would have made quite the blunt object, and walked up behind him (a common theme it seems, I'm not a face to face killer) and there I saw my check sticking out of the guy's pocket. I simply reached in his pocket and took my check back, then I put the colander back in the grease where it belonged. Years later, someone shot that dude. Oh, he lived but a little piece of me is still kind of sad that he did.
What have we learned? Well, I really don't like people taking my stuff. Secondly, God is watching out for ya boy. Lastly, I've learned that somewhere inside of me is a dark angry place where I have been and I can go again. With that in mind, I try to avoid letting myself head that direction. That is why I'm cool, calm, collected and FREE!
If you aren't a person that has been that pissed off before you are one lucky soul. Being that kind of angry is bad for everyone. Especially the fool that gets that mad.
How mad have I been before? Back when I was in high school, on two separate occasions, I almost killed a nigga.
The first time I was about to kill someone, this dude stole my watch. It was shitty and plastic sure, but it was MY fucking watch.
Back story: I was always a loner. I was quiet, small and got absolutely ZERO ass in high school which meant I was a prime target for bullies. Basically I was the opposite of what I am now but deep down I'm very much still that awkward kid.
Anyhoo, we were were in the cafeteria and this kid I used to be cool with asked to see my new plastic watch. We used to be homies so I thought nothing of it. He decided that he wanted to keep it. First I was at the point of tears. He was bigger than me and one of the cooler kids. Not only would he probably have beat me up, everybody probably would have laughed as it happened. Somewhere deep inside, though, my sadness turned to anger, then to rage.
What did I do? I went into the kitchen where they were serving lunch. Why? Because I was looking for a knife. I imagined there was a meat cleaver just lying around back there like they were actually butchering meat (as if there was an actual animal killed in the making of school lunch). Much to my dismay, didn't see any knives. Then I had an epiphany. If you stab hard enough, a fork will do just fine. Perhaps that's why they don't use metal forks anymore. I grabs myself a fork and walk up behind the kid wearing my watch. By some stroke of luck, this nigga still had a rat tail. It was about 1995 is and the rat tail thing was long gone but this nigga still had his. Lucky for him. I planned on grabbing his throat but for some reason I saw that rat tail and grabbed it instead. With my other hand I put my handy dandy stabbing utensil on his neck then I calmly asked for my plastic watch back. For some reason he took that that motherfucker off. I got my watch, went to eat my lunch and calmed down. In hindsight, that incident may have contributed to my lack of sex for the next few years.
Fast forward to my first job, Taco Bell. There was a dude that worked there that was known for making jokes about people. Most of the time he left me alone because he was banging this girl that worked there and the more he talked to me, the more she did too. He didn't like that at all.
Okay, one particular payday I had my check in my back pocket and this asshole proceeded to take it, read it and put it in his own pocket. Once again this dude was much bigger than I. Once again I went from sad to angry to murderous in about 5 seconds. I wasn't looking for a knife this time. This time I had a much better plan. I was going to melt his face with hot grease. I only had one problem, the thing in the hot grease was kind of a colander, it had holes in the bottom and couldn't transport much grease. Again, just as God provided me with a rat tail to avoid spending my life in jail, this time he provided a large order of tacos. The fool that stole my check was busy making tacos. I brought over my grease soaked colander, which wouldn't have melted his face off but would have made quite the blunt object, and walked up behind him (a common theme it seems, I'm not a face to face killer) and there I saw my check sticking out of the guy's pocket. I simply reached in his pocket and took my check back, then I put the colander back in the grease where it belonged. Years later, someone shot that dude. Oh, he lived but a little piece of me is still kind of sad that he did.
What have we learned? Well, I really don't like people taking my stuff. Secondly, God is watching out for ya boy. Lastly, I've learned that somewhere inside of me is a dark angry place where I have been and I can go again. With that in mind, I try to avoid letting myself head that direction. That is why I'm cool, calm, collected and FREE!
Comments
Post a Comment
Got comments? Let it out. I always do.