Real Men Raise Their Kids

Deadbeat dads out there, I understand.  Having a baby is some scary shit.  Also there’s the financial cost and the fact that you will be tied to the child’s mother for at least 18 years.  That can be some creepy shit if you hardly know that woman and you’re broke already.

Here’s the problem.  Having sex, especially unprotected sex, is some grown up shit.  If you are man enough to do grown-up shit then you should be grown up enough to face the consequences.  For example:  I drive a car pretty much every damned day.  I do this with the knowledge that driving a car is probably the most dangerous thing I can do with my time.  It is far more likely to kill me than anything I do but I take responsibility and try to drive as safely as possible. 

I don’t mean to scare people; in fact, I aim to do the opposite.  I am saying that you face the risks of an adult life, get in your car and get to it.  Why?  Because that is what grown-ups do. 

I refuse to believe that when a man decides to shoot his semen in a stranger that it is the manly thing to do is run off like a drunk that just wrapped his car around a pole and says “ehh, pole’s fault.”

Ladies, don’t think you’re completely off the hook on this one.  It does take two to tango.  If you are unsure of a man’s ability to face responsibility, perhaps you should suggest he put on a condom, trade oral favors or maybe let him put it in your butt.  Hey, I’m not one to judge people’s sex acts.  I’m just saying there are ways to do the job without reproductive consequences.

Also, there is the saying “Mama’s baby, papa’s maybe.”  Meaning, a man can run from a baby but your pregnant waddling ass ain’t going nowhere that quickly so umm, yeah.  You’re just going to have to be the first line of defense on that shit.  Blame God when you meet her.  Besides, if men had to carry babies to term, the abortion rate would be ridiculous.  Like I was saying, too many of us are too pussy for childrearing.

Speaking of pussy ass men, there needs to be a better way of going after deadbeats.  Forcing people to work is difficult to implement but if faced with choice of working at Wal-mart and going to jail, I’ll wear that stupid vest and name tag all damned day.  That’s just me though, I’m an adult.  For all you not-quite-adult males, I got no problem with the state taking half of your check, fucking up your income taxes or forcing you to take those limp dick pills until you step up to the plate.

Babies need parents.  Preferably at least two and if a man decides to skirt his responsibility then that woman needs to be fairly compensated for the added burden.  Human beings are not earthworms, we do not replicate on our own.  We evolved in 2 parent societies and while single parenting is a magic trick that men and women across this crazy world pull off on a daily basis, unless they chose it, both parents have a responsibility to give as much love and support to that which they created.

I know some of you “Baby daddy’s” out there won’t appreciate my male bashing but come on son, step it the fuck up.  And for you future deadbeats out there, do the world a favor.  Instead of going raw in some woman that you don’t care about, do the world a favor and stay home and masturbate.  Just pretend that your hand is that nice soft pussy that you really are at heart.