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Hypertension

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I'm officially on drugs now.  Some shit called Amlodipine that may or may not give me cankles.  As you can imagine, I am not very excited about this.

The reason that I have to pop a pill every day is because a month ago my blood pressure was 160/120 which, for those of you scoring at home, is high as fuck.  Monday, my doctor had me in to make sure the first check was no anomaly.  This time my blood pressure was 180/110 which prompted an "Oh my goodness" from my nurse.  So what I'm saying is, I have high blood pressure.

What sucks about this development is that it is usually reserved for people that are overweight.  While I am carrying an old man pudge of a belly, I am 6 foot (6' 3" when leaving Family Dollar on State Ave) and 185 pounds of cut muscle.  Did I mention I was hot? Never mind that because hypertention has it's probz.

This is terrible for several reasons.  First and foremost, It could cause my dick to stop working in the next decade or so.  If you guys read my blog, I quite fond of dick working; even when it half asses.  So, pretty much anything I gotta do to keep my dick useful, I'm all in.

Also, I might die.  Three of the last four times I've had my blood pressure checked, someone has suggested that I'm going to have a stroke.  I completely understand that instantaneous death or partial paralyzation should be scary.  I also don't give a fuck.  Look, I've seen a lot of people go out. Like, a LOT of people and if If I keel over instantly whilst losing to Golden State on NBA 2K again, so be it.  Of course, there is the risk of God trolling me by killing me in the middle of spanking it to big girl porn... there's that.  I should avoid that.  The dying, not the big girls.  Big girls are awesome.  Stay on point.  I should take the pill.

Another thing,  I really gotta get serious about not smoking.  I know.  I should have never started and/or stopped long before now but again, dick not working is a hell of a motivator.  Also, it's money.  I totally will have more money from not inhaling it.  Not sure what I might spend it on but probably not something that will stop my dick from working... My dick is important to me.

Also, my girls are important to me and I don't want them to have to bury me too soon.  It's a thing that may happen in spite of my actions but if anyone is gonna get the old college try from me, it's my girls.  That being said I will take my little pill, do my ankle lifts and do what I can to keep my dick aloft when I'm 50.  Did I mention my dick is important to me?

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