Skip to main content

Hypertension

Image result for Heart

I'm officially on drugs now.  Some shit called Amlodipine that may or may not give me cankles.  As you can imagine, I am not very excited about this.

The reason that I have to pop a pill every day is because a month ago my blood pressure was 160/120 which, for those of you scoring at home, is high as fuck.  Monday, my doctor had me in to make sure the first check was no anomaly.  This time my blood pressure was 180/110 which prompted an "Oh my goodness" from my nurse.  So what I'm saying is, I have high blood pressure.

What sucks about this development is that it is usually reserved for people that are overweight.  While I am carrying an old man pudge of a belly, I am 6 foot (6' 3" when leaving Family Dollar on State Ave) and 185 pounds of cut muscle.  Did I mention I was hot? Never mind that because hypertention has it's probz.

This is terrible for several reasons.  First and foremost, It could cause my dick to stop working in the next decade or so.  If you guys read my blog, I quite fond of dick working; even when it half asses.  So, pretty much anything I gotta do to keep my dick useful, I'm all in.

Also, I might die.  Three of the last four times I've had my blood pressure checked, someone has suggested that I'm going to have a stroke.  I completely understand that instantaneous death or partial paralyzation should be scary.  I also don't give a fuck.  Look, I've seen a lot of people go out. Like, a LOT of people and if If I keel over instantly whilst losing to Golden State on NBA 2K again, so be it.  Of course, there is the risk of God trolling me by killing me in the middle of spanking it to big girl porn... there's that.  I should avoid that.  The dying, not the big girls.  Big girls are awesome.  Stay on point.  I should take the pill.

Another thing,  I really gotta get serious about not smoking.  I know.  I should have never started and/or stopped long before now but again, dick not working is a hell of a motivator.  Also, it's money.  I totally will have more money from not inhaling it.  Not sure what I might spend it on but probably not something that will stop my dick from working... My dick is important to me.

Also, my girls are important to me and I don't want them to have to bury me too soon.  It's a thing that may happen in spite of my actions but if anyone is gonna get the old college try from me, it's my girls.  That being said I will take my little pill, do my ankle lifts and do what I can to keep my dick aloft when I'm 50.  Did I mention my dick is important to me?

Comments

Post a Comment

Got comments? Let it out. I always do.

Popular posts from this blog

Maury must be stopped. No one has profited more from Black people being ignorant than he.   I know the old saying: “Mama’s baby, Papa’s maybe.” But, contrary to popular belief, Black men love their children.   Everyone loves children.   Even if Black men realize that they aren’t bringing much to a household, they know that there is magic there.   That magic might be scary, like all magic, but it’s there.   There isn’t much difference between the love that develops between a man and a child with his D.N.A.   and a man that a child that he has raised. I am my father’s son.   No, I’m not light skinned or a hustler, but I laugh when I hear something funny.   I’ll sit on a porch and dink liquor all Saturday morning.   My toes are extraordinarily long (just like his).   I will see a beautiful woman and take notice just because I am a man and that’s what a man does.   My dad raised me well. When you see a Black man on Maury, y...
2 comments
Read more

The two that got away

I have had a lot of great relationships with women in my life.   I couldn’t rate them if I wanted to; that is, accept for the one with my wife, of course. But, looking back in all my dealings with the opposite sex, there are two women that stand out for two very different reasons.   They are the ones that I actually didn’t have a relationship with.   Of all the women I’ve dealt with, these two always stand out in my past.   These are the two that got away: I will use false names because I don’t like to embarrass people on the internet.   But, I will try to keep the pseudonyms close enough that these women know that I’m talking about them.   Shyra was a goddess.   I haven’t seen her in 10 years and to this day, she is the most beautiful woman that I’ve ever seen.   She was mixed or something.   She had the most beautiful gray eyes that you could get lost in at a single glance.   To this day, I don’t know if they were contacts...
Post a Comment
Read more

2016 is Godspeak for "Do Better"

Time flies at the same rate in every moment.  We know this because, you know, watches and shit.  This year seemed to sort of drag on but I am well aware it wasn't time's fault.  It was mine.  There was totally not enough money, sex and drugs to keep my mind occupied.  I guess my resolution for next year is to do better.  Here go how: Stop Smoking Again: Yes, I'm still smoking Black and Milds.  Yes I know It's 1999, yes I know about cancer.  It is the source of much self hate and I tell myself I should stop...until I run out.  I'll do better; pinky swear it. Drink Better Liquor: I know you are thinking "Why don't you stop drinking?"  The answer to that is "Because I'm a fucking adult."  That being said, my stomach is 15 years in to this drank life and it has no room for McRibs, dry turkey or vodka with sugar in it.  It's Absolut and better for me in the 2016.  Good thing I'm saving all that Black and Mild mo...
Post a Comment
Read more