Cogito Ergo

If twitter has taught me anything, it is that people not named Rosario Dawson are horrible.  If twitter has taught me two things it is that, though horrible, people lead some really interesting lives in the wake of their fuckery.  Here are a few examples of the shit people pull that makes me wonder whyhowwhowhatthefuck!? People That Carry out Lengthy Affairs I understand the whole "I was drunk and I was drinking with Bill Cosby earlier and my man was out of town" type of fling.  You messed up but you returned to reality shortly there after.  Shit happens and life usually doesn't grant the preferred allotment of booty in long term relationships.  You guys are wrong but I understand.  If Mariah starts talking all greasy to me in the VIP, I'm probably gonna have some splaining to do to the wife, myself.  What throws me is married or otherwise monogamous people that carry month and maybe year long relationships with a side piece.  How much lying c...

Russell:    Thanks for inviting me here to celebrate our 100th blog post.  It means a lot. Cogito:    You the one that keeps showing up for work, leaving all this free time in the middle of the day.  I thought it would be nice to let you do something since you're the only dumbass that gets your work done promptly. R:    Whatever, nigga.  Thanks, anyway. C:    No doubt.  You know, 15-20 years ago, if someone would have suggested that I would be writing 500 word essays for mostly my own entertainment I would have laughed.  Then I would have thought, I'm just never going to have a normal sex life. R:    Umm, do you remember college? C:    Hazy glimpses.  You were always reading and shit.  Great job, there.  All that education is really helping you out in that warehouse right now.  To think of it, I remember a lot of beautiful women getting away from you as fast as possib...

Let's talk about this nigga: For those of you that live under a rock, this nigga shot and killed a news woman and her cameraman on live TV.  Was it fucked up?  Very. Will I find reason to defend his actions?  Fuck, no.  That being said, there are a few things that we have missed that need to be addressed. Additionally, I won't even put these lost lives on the many of you that argue against gun control.  You don't have an argument, so why fucking argue? Okay. This nigga broke three unwritten American rules: First:  He's supposed to be jolly.  Everybody knows that overweight niggas on TV gots to be jolly and/or linemen.  This nigga took his job of not shucking, jiving or pushing other fat Black men around too seriously and ended up in HR several times for not licking boots and false starting. You see, it is being widely reported that this man had issues at the station with co-workers.  He was hostile and stand-offish which ma...

I gotta say, I'm pleasantly disappointed that I saw no Klan Rallies, Confederate flag belt buckles, toothless strippers, banjo playing rapists or Black women with enormous asses.  Okay, I'm only disappointed that I didn't see one of those things but what the fuck Georgia?  You guys were straight nice.  That's as boring as watching grass grow but still, very nice. You guys probably think I'm crazy for wanting to see some Mississippi Burning type shit but that would justify my disdain for all things southern (aside from the big booties).  Now I might have to *gulp* stop hating. I guess I learned something this week.  I learned that the next time I have a chance to go to Atlanta to make sure that I'm actually going to Httlanta and not Notlanta before I agree.  I also need to bring my own alcohol because there are no gyatdamned liquor stores in this town. Well guys, I shouldpack.  I get to see my girls tomorrow and I'm pretty happy about that.  ...

I finally saw a confederate flag.  This is notable for two reasons.  First it took nearly three whole days.  That's significant because I see a confederate flag every three or four days in Kansas.  How the hell are our wanna-be-rednecks more obnoxious than the real deal?  Secondly, the flag was on a car driven by a girl in her mid twenties wearing a cracker barrel uniform.  Of all the country boys in pick-up trucks and camouflage that I've seen, how the fuck does some girl that wasn't even alive during the Reagan administration still rep this backwards shit?   Okay, other notes: In case you didn't know, country music is horrible.  It's on everywhere down here.  It's not even some Garth Brooks shit I might have heard before.  It's just random shit about trucks and getting drunk over acoustic guitar.  I actually heard one end with"...I love my gun, I love my family..." yes this motherfucker put his gun before his family, "and i...

So the work folk have deemed me management material.  Das is good, ya? Ya!  However, this means that I have to train in two locations outside of my Kansas City home; Atlanta and Phoenix. First stop, Atlanta... or so I thought until Friday.  It turns out the site isn't in Atlanta, it's an hour north in Congress, Georgia.  I had been all excited to get a taste of Hotlanta and instead I get a slice of the real Georgia.  You know, the part that nobody wants visit.  But fuck it, they ain't about to mess up my money. So today I took to the skies.  I was too busy trying to finish packing to get in a proper good-bye with my girls.  It was quick hugs and kisses and I was out.  Luckily I was also to scrambled to get sad.  That's what happens when you drink vodka instead of packing the night before.  That also means that I forgot two things that I was hoping to bring with me 1) my xbox controller and 2) My swim trunks. I figured out that...

The cards were stacked against me, I tell ya. Per the previous post, I have been in training.  I have been doing all sorts of jumping exercises with the goal of throwing a dunk down by July 25th, 2015; my 35th birthday.  Then, like seemingly every other goal I've set, shit got in the way. Five days before the big day, I got sick.  I was just working too much in the heat and my body said "You know what, fuck you, too!"  By the time I re hydrated, it was time to rest up for the big day. The day came and I was hype.  Got up early, dropped some stuff at the library and downed a cup of coffee AND drank a five hour energy.  I was ready to jump over the moon... then my wife and daughter took 2 hours to get ready.  This had a disastrous effect.  First of all it killed my excitement and coffee buzz, which made me go from crunk to irritated.  Also, it allowed the heat index to reach 95 degrees.  If you don't know what the heat index is, it's...