Time Machine

People like to play with the thought experiment of "Would you kill baby Hitler?"  The idea is that it says something about you that you would either kill or save a baby, based on the probability that he was going to grow to be a monster.

Given what we know about the history of Germany, I say kill that baby.  I'd beat that baby with an aluminum bat.  I'd castrate his dad and kick his mom square in the pussy on the way out.  Maybe I'm a bad person but I didn't kill millions of Jews and if I had to take a chance on the future for and Ann Frank and nem, that's gonna be one dead baby Adolf.

That being said, I kinda feel like there are other people in history that needed to be stopped for the greater good.  There has been some unnecessary ass lives that have been lived and if I ever get my time machine up and working, here are few people that you won't remember existing:

Whoever invented Caps Lock.  People have wasted countless hours deleting and re-typing shit because of this person.  That time could have been better used.  Sure, Facebook beefs would be less funny, but that is why we have the shift key.  You mean that shit when you gotta hold down shift for a whole sentence.

Dr. Phil. I get it, he's folksy and says common sense things that people need to hear, however, he talks down to people that are very clearly suffering from a mental illness.  He will look at a person and ask them if they are pregnant, knowing they are not, and try to convince them that they should clean up their act.  Normal ass people don't fake pregnancy like that, Phil. And you shouldn't be making millions from trotting them out for spectacle.  Speaking of spectacle...

Maury Povich.  I wholeheartedly understand that niggas gon' nig.  But let's face facts, Maury exploits poor people.  There are plenty of upper class people that lie about their baby daddy and plenty who have ghosted on women that they knocked up.  They can afford to go to New York without putting their business in the streets.  Not poor people.  What makes it worse is that poor children need two parents even more than the well off.  Also, the poor people on the stage at his show aren't the only victims.  This is also a shame on the audience.  These people could be reading, instead they are watching people's lives be flipped upside down and cheering for this shit.  Check yourself, Bradley, they might be the geeks, but you're the freak for taking pleasure in it.

Next, whoever invented the Romphim... For obvious reasons.

Because I'm sick of losing to Golden State every time, whoever wrote the program that made the defense for NBA2K17,  People actively run away from Klay Thompson like he's a leper.  Okay, I might not kill that person, just maybe make him watch an actual basketball game.

I would go after the murderous cops but you really can't kill one and not expect two more to take his/her place.  I'd kill Darren Wilson and George Zimmerman of course but still, that wouldn't solve much but I would feel better.

None of this is going to happen, of course, precisely because of people like me.  My theory is that the time machine was invented but somebody promptly used it to go back in time and kill the inventor as a baby because niggas like me kept going back in time and settling scores with infants.  I guess I will have to stick to trying to fix the future, like some lame.