A bad thought

We’ve all heard the statistics on sexual assault.  Well, most of us… Well, some of us.  To be brief, the news is bad.  According to rainn.org every two minutes an American is sexually assaulted. 60% of sexual assaults aren’t reported to the police and 44% of victims are under the age of 18… yeah, 18.  I know that’s messed up but that ain’t the messed up thought that shook me a little while ago.

You see, whilst driving, my overactive brain had a revelation.  All these women getting raped and abused have to be getting hurt by someone.  Here’s where the fucked up part comes in.  You probably know a rapist.  

Let that sink in.  We take into account that we know so many women that have been raped but we never think about who done it.  They say (rainn.com et al.) that most victims know their assailants and by that logic, if you are in the same circle as a rape victim, there is a two in three chance that you know her assailant.  Again, let that sink in.

I am fortunate to be close enough to women to have them share these fucked up stories with me.  It feels good that they would share their pain.  However, I cannot deny how much it hurts.  It hurts me personally to think that someone that I care about would be subjected to such a thing, all the while maintaining a smile.

You see, I’ve always had a hero complex.  I want to save everyone.  More importantly, I think that everyone can be saved and in order to save a victim, you can either defend that victim or prevent the perpetrator. 

The perp is what bothers me.

What sort of world do we live in that so many men feel that it is okay to rape women?  What the hell is going on in our society that so many men don’t know that having sex with a woman that’s passed out is unacceptable?  And, what could possibly be going through a person’s mind when a woman tells him “no” and he  considers holding her down and forcing himself inside of her?

I cannot answer these questions but these are problems that need answers.  In America, sex and violence are too easily intertwined and when sex meets violence the only thing that it creates is hurt. 

There is always a solution.  You can’t fix the past but I’ll kill myself the day that I don’t believe that the future is in all of our hands.

We may all know a rapist but we have to work to make sure that he (even she) never does it again.  How, you say?  Well, survivors you have to tell their story.  Tough thing, sharing pain but you have to pass it on.  Don’t just pass it on to women to warn them about the dangers of the world but spread it to young men.  Let the world know that humans must treat each other as they would themselves.

My fellow men, what the fuck?  If we are going to define manhood on our own terms, let it be as protectors of those weaker than us.  Let us be men that love and not ones that seek to control and harm in the name of getting pussy.

This world is a crazy one but let us all seek to correct instead of participating.

We may know a rapist but let’s do the world a favor and prevent another one from being created.  Let’s stop blaming victims and start raising men to never, ever let this sort of thing cross their minds.

It a fucked up thing to know a person that has been hurt so badly and it’s nearly as bad to know that you know someone that is capable of inflicting such pain.  The worst thing is to perpetuate the kind of world where this thing continues.  Therefore, today, wherever you are, you have to stop this. It’s going to take all of us and its going to take a long time, but if we cannot win this battle, why the hell should any of us survive?