Quit Lying

There are two major problems with common sense.  First, it isn't all that common.  Secondly, our culture presents a lot of shit that passes for wisdom that upon further analysis, turns out to be complete bullshit.  You can't argue the first point.  I try not to get mad at people for not using their heads.  I know what a burden being a braniac can be (alliteration bitches!!!).  If you don't believe me on the second point about commonly held bullshit that people think is so smart, I present the following.

Exhibit A:   "Honestly is the Best Policy"

Imagine if you will, a man rolls off of his wife after 6 minutes of vigorous love making.  Still out of breath, he turns his head to his wife's ear and mutters "I would get more in to this if you lost about 20 pounds."  Then she turns her head to meet his gaze and says "I never hear any complaints from the Black guys I fuck when you're at work."

Now, had they both shut the fuck up and gone to sleep like normal people, neither of them would have hurt feelings.  "Brutally honest"is a term for a reason.  People are happier in their delusions.  If you want people to be happy, let them have it.  If you want a policy, try pragmatism.  It will get you laid WAAAAY more often.

Exhibit B:  "Hard work is it's own reward"

Take it from a descendant of slaves.  Hard work only rewards other people, particularly rich White people that don't even need the money.  I used to work my ass off at McDonald's for a check that barely covered my rent.  Did I feel better knowing that my hard work got people hot fries and perfectly shaped ice cream cones?  No, I stole apple pies on the regular and made out with one of the Mexican girls that worked in the back.  Now that shit was rewarding!

Exhibit C:  "A government for the people and by the people"

I don't know what people they are talking about but if I find those people, I'll let you know and we can run through that town like Rosewood.  Half of the US congress people have net worths over a million dollars while most Americans live check to check.  The two political parties are both full of corporate lackeys so there isn't much hope for any real representative government unless we can all scrape our pennies together and buy Pfizer or Monsanto or some shit.  The only real way to get the government's ear is to buy it.

Exhibit D:  "The Fastest Way to a Man's Heart is Through His Stomach"

Men, we all know this shit ain't even true.  I've felt the love from a few women over the years and not once has it been after eating.  Well, not after eating food anyway.  The point is, I can feed myself, it's the other four letter f-word that requires a loving partner.

I think you get it.  What are some other, commonly held dumb ass ideas that you can think of?  Leave a comment or go ahead and tell me that I'm not a braniac because I know what an alliteration is.  One of the most commonly held lies is that people are are smarter than what other people think.