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Year one


Three hundred sixty five days.  Yep, it’s been an interesting year.  Wrote some blogs, had a daughter, moved, delayed my book through 3 edits, got a new job, lost my dad and my grandma, drank a whole lot of liquor, dropped almost 2000 tweets, saw Killer Mike and Big Boi in concert, gained 15 pounds of muscle, lost 10 pounds of muscle and oh yeah, I stayed married for an entire year.

I gotta tell ya, it’s not what I expected.  I’m not saying it’s better or worse but I think it’s only fair that I make some little observations.  I’ll make the disclaimer that I love my wife, absolutely love her.  Not for one second have I regretted marrying her.  That being said, let’s keep it real.

First of all, you know how newlyweds on TV go at it like rabbits?  That shit ain’t eeeeeeven true.  Matter of fact, it’s worse than not true.  It’s just a lie.  I find myself trying to get my wife drunk so I can get her naked like she’s my prom date or some shit.  Granted, she did get pregnant really early and pregnant women tend not to be comfortable but as man, I feel like I can make a woman comfortable if she commence to giving it up, but that’s just me.  So fellas out there, just because you marry a woman, don’t think you can turn her in to Janet Jacme just because you put a ring on it.

Secondly, there’s a little Adrian Monk in all of us; us meaning me.  I’m not a neat freak by any means buuuuut, as a braniac, I’m pretty good at remembering where I put stuff down (keys and cell phone excluded) and when someone “cleans up” and afterward I can’t find the damned laptop, the shit raises my blood pressure a little.  Shouldn’t you be able to find stuff easier after you clean up?  I’m just saying.  I’m sure my shoes constantly being in the middle of the floor is frustrating but hey, at least I can find them.

Thirdly, it’s better to have a job.  Bless my wife’s heart. I didn’t have a job when we got married.  The girl had faith though and decided I was worth the risk.  God bless her because even though I had all the faith in the world that I would find something, not too many people were ready to make that bet.  Luckily, she did and those first few months weren’t that bad.  Then she got pregnant and those months of looking for work while my wife got bigger and bigger made me feel like SHEEYIIIIITTT.  I had the book in pretty good shape but if you haven’t sold copy # 1 that’s not much solace.  By some miracle, I found a job before my daughter was born and damn is it a lot more comfortable.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not particularly fond of my job but bringing money into the house hold more than makes up for it.  My wife never made me feel like less of a man, even when we knew the baby was coming but she didn’t have to.  Let this be a lesson to you guys out there. If you want happiness, find a job.  I know it sucks but not as much as the alternative, believe me.

Lastly, don’t fight, drink.  If your wife is pregnant or doesn’t drink don’t let that stop you.  I’ve seen a lot of couples at each other’s throats because one escalated something stupid and the other one just upped the ante until they were filing restraining orders because somebody didn’t shut the cabinets.  You know what’s better than that?  Getting drunk.  There’s something in alcohol that always makes me think, “I’d rather be enjoying myself.”  Now, I know that some of you can’t handle your anger issues and liquor at the same time.  You people need to try weed, exercise, reading the bible or masturbating or something.  The point is that there’s no point in fighting.  I had that temperament going into our marriage and that is probably why my wife thought I was marriage material.  So if you are having problems with your spouse out there, do both of you a favor, find a way to chill the fuck out for a while.

Yeah, a brotha than been through some crazy shit in the last year but through thick and thin, I always had my wife to come home to.  I guess that’s the most beautiful thing about marriage.  Whatever the hell is going on, I know I have her to come home to.  It has been beautiful for 365 nights in a row, might as well keep the streak going. 

Thanks Jessica for being my loving wife for one year running.  I’m not suggesting we repeat this year too many times but I’ll tell you what, I’ll count it as a ‘W’.

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