Rape culture and me

In the midst of war (we are at war if you didn’t know) and three made up scandals in Washington, there were two stories in the news this week that really shook me up.  It wasn’t because it was some tragedy or something about the world we live in, it was because it reminded me that I too am a product of society no matter how I fancy myself an outsider.  That being said, let’s talk about Amanda Bynes’ front and Beyoncé’s rear.

Story 1:  Amanda Bynes gets arrested for throwing a bong out of the window; completely pointless news.  No harm no foul.  My only problem with that story is that the door man called the cops on her.  What kind of punk ass door man is that?  Then, Amanda comes out and says that one of the cops patted her vagina during the arrest.  Mind you, she would probably be the one billionth customer in the NYC genital violation parade but that’s not the first thing that went to my mind.  First thing I thought was “She is pretty hot.  I’d like to pat her vagina a few times myself.”

Story 2:  Beyoncé is somewhere in Europe avoiding niggas in Paris and some White dude in Belgrade or some shit patted her ass.  In my defense, all the pictures above the story were accentuating her rear end.  Naturally, the first thing I thought was “Good for you, random European.  I hope Jay-Z doesn’t kill you.”

Then something strange happened.  As nice as I’m sure Amanda Bynes’ vagina is and as beautiful as Beyoncé is from the rear view, I just applauded two acts of sexual assault.

It got me to thinking about so called “rape culture” and the commoditization of women in the world today.  It is bad enough that I watched “Half the Sky” and now I can’t stand to watch porn with Asian women in it because I think they were all kidnapped and sexually abused.  Now I can’t even enjoy a good ass patting without realizing that Beyoncé has the right to not be anyone’s sexual toy, no matter how harmless they meant to be.

This is a shift for me.  It was probably caused by the fact that I have a daughter now but I’m sure it started way back in high school.  It has always made sense to me to treat all human beings as equals, regardless of the presence of a womb. 

What those two (lack of) news stories showed me was that sometimes I forget my feminism and enjoy being in a position of power as a man.  Throughout my life with a penis, I’ve been told to hunt and there can be no hunter without the hunted.

Initially, when I heard about someone groping Amanda Bynes’ presumably perfectly moist but not wet enough to be sloppy vagina and Beyoncé’s soft and as comfortable as memory foam ass, I was at first happy for the hunter that made the kill.  Then I realized that I was thinking about people that had their personhood violated for no other reason but to satisfy someone else’s desires (Yes, I think Amanda Bynes got a raw deal.  Legalize it!) and it reminded me that feminism may be more correct than rape culture, but that don’t mean it always wins, not even in my own head. 

That, my friends, is very, very, depressing.