Skip to main content

The Maury Povich Drinking Game


It has dawned on me (several times) that the Maury Povich Show is basically the same damned thing over and over.  But I was thinking, there’s got to be a way to make this shit more exciting.  With that in mind, for all of you jobless midday drinkers and alcoholic insomniacs:
 

The Maury Povich Drinking Game
(First one to get pregnant loses)

Black Woman with multi colored weave:  All minorities drink

Teenage White girl on stage: All White people drink

Black man with White Baby momma: Everybody drink

White man with Black Baby momma: Change the channel; you’re watching the wrong show

Someone Belly Flops on couch: Chug until they fall on floor

Someone Belly Flops on Floor: Chug until they get up

Someone calls him ‘Murray’: Everybody Drink

Multiple Baby Momma’s: Drink for each kid

Someone dances on stage: Everyone of that sex drinks and imitates dance

Audience Boos: Everyone drink Booze

Audience Cheers: Cheers to everyone… so drink

Somebody’s mama shows up:  All women drink and promise not to be her one day

Security on Stage: Drink until they disappear

Maury says results are shocking: Waterfall

Maury ask for ‘America’s opinion’: Last person to grab a phone has to call number, then drink

Lie Detector fail: Man fails, men drink. Women fails, women drink (per question)

Lie Detector pass:  Woman passes, men drink.  Man passes, women drink (per question)

Every time someone says “You are” or “not the father” before Maury reads the results, whichever sex is wrong, that one finishes their cup

Dramatic turn toward camera during intro: Drink every time but you can’t look at your cup

Someone sleeps with spouse’s/significant other’s relative: Everyone drinks and blurts the name of their sexiest relative on count of 3.

Obese woman on stage:  10 sit-ups for all women

Skinny man on stage: All men do 10 pushups

 

 All you Maury fans can now enjoy the show even more.  After all, you’re already killing brain cells by watching Maury, might as well kill a few more.  Grab a pint glass full of your favorite beverage and let the geek entertain.

Comments

Post a Comment

Got comments? Let it out. I always do.

Popular posts from this blog

Maury must be stopped. No one has profited more from Black people being ignorant than he.   I know the old saying: “Mama’s baby, Papa’s maybe.” But, contrary to popular belief, Black men love their children.   Everyone loves children.   Even if Black men realize that they aren’t bringing much to a household, they know that there is magic there.   That magic might be scary, like all magic, but it’s there.   There isn’t much difference between the love that develops between a man and a child with his D.N.A.   and a man that a child that he has raised. I am my father’s son.   No, I’m not light skinned or a hustler, but I laugh when I hear something funny.   I’ll sit on a porch and dink liquor all Saturday morning.   My toes are extraordinarily long (just like his).   I will see a beautiful woman and take notice just because I am a man and that’s what a man does.   My dad raised me well. When you see a Black man on Maury, y...
2 comments
Read more

For my friends that considered suicide when having a nigga in your corner isn't enough

I remember wanting to die.  I didn't want to kill myself per se, I just wished that I could just go the fuck away.  I was a young, skinny teenager that wasn't looking forward to anything outside of video games.  What kind of life is that? But teenage life is always stupid.  When the lead actor is phoning it in, the play sucks.  That is teenage life in America.  I wish I could say that only teenagers go dark enough to want to die but we all know that is not true.  Life gets so much harder for people that dare to be an adult. As an adult, I get reminded of my younger years because shit still gets dark.  When I feel that kind of hopelessness, I still remember the fire that gets lit inside of me.  My ability to say "Fuck all of these people." is my super power.  It is a necessary tool for me.  When all the love I try to spread around begins to fail that flaming hatred for those that I let push me there always comes back.  Someh...
Post a Comment
Read more

Code Cracked: LeBron

After LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers were swept by the Golden State Warriors my timeline was predictably filled with people arguing that LeBron couldn't possibly be the greatest of all time because he didn't fart rainbows or just will his team to victory. One of the most eyebrow raising post was of Michael Jordan celebrating another title.  I don't even remember what Mike was going on about but it made remember remember something about Mike that I had forgotten in all the Lebron comparisons: Mike was a complete asshole. Then, I got to thinking about Mike's heir (air) to the title of best in the game, Kobe.  Kobe wasn't brimming with personality but one thing that we should all agree on, is that he was also a fucking dick.  I specifically remember him ignoring Chris Rock on the sidelines like he was too focused to be funny. Then there's LeBron James.  Even when he has a team full of underachievers he has the nerve to pick up his purse and leave ra...
Post a Comment
Read more