Skip to main content

The Maury Povich Drinking Game


It has dawned on me (several times) that the Maury Povich Show is basically the same damned thing over and over.  But I was thinking, there’s got to be a way to make this shit more exciting.  With that in mind, for all of you jobless midday drinkers and alcoholic insomniacs:
 

The Maury Povich Drinking Game
(First one to get pregnant loses)

Black Woman with multi colored weave:  All minorities drink

Teenage White girl on stage: All White people drink

Black man with White Baby momma: Everybody drink

White man with Black Baby momma: Change the channel; you’re watching the wrong show

Someone Belly Flops on couch: Chug until they fall on floor

Someone Belly Flops on Floor: Chug until they get up

Someone calls him ‘Murray’: Everybody Drink

Multiple Baby Momma’s: Drink for each kid

Someone dances on stage: Everyone of that sex drinks and imitates dance

Audience Boos: Everyone drink Booze

Audience Cheers: Cheers to everyone… so drink

Somebody’s mama shows up:  All women drink and promise not to be her one day

Security on Stage: Drink until they disappear

Maury says results are shocking: Waterfall

Maury ask for ‘America’s opinion’: Last person to grab a phone has to call number, then drink

Lie Detector fail: Man fails, men drink. Women fails, women drink (per question)

Lie Detector pass:  Woman passes, men drink.  Man passes, women drink (per question)

Every time someone says “You are” or “not the father” before Maury reads the results, whichever sex is wrong, that one finishes their cup

Dramatic turn toward camera during intro: Drink every time but you can’t look at your cup

Someone sleeps with spouse’s/significant other’s relative: Everyone drinks and blurts the name of their sexiest relative on count of 3.

Obese woman on stage:  10 sit-ups for all women

Skinny man on stage: All men do 10 pushups

 

 All you Maury fans can now enjoy the show even more.  After all, you’re already killing brain cells by watching Maury, might as well kill a few more.  Grab a pint glass full of your favorite beverage and let the geek entertain.

Comments

Post a Comment

Got comments? Let it out. I always do.

Popular posts from this blog

The two that got away

I have had a lot of great relationships with women in my life.   I couldn’t rate them if I wanted to; that is, accept for the one with my wife, of course. But, looking back in all my dealings with the opposite sex, there are two women that stand out for two very different reasons.   They are the ones that I actually didn’t have a relationship with.   Of all the women I’ve dealt with, these two always stand out in my past.   These are the two that got away: I will use false names because I don’t like to embarrass people on the internet.   But, I will try to keep the pseudonyms close enough that these women know that I’m talking about them.   Shyra was a goddess.   I haven’t seen her in 10 years and to this day, she is the most beautiful woman that I’ve ever seen.   She was mixed or something.   She had the most beautiful gray eyes that you could get lost in at a single glance.   To this day, I don’t know if they were contacts...
Post a Comment
Read more
Maury must be stopped. No one has profited more from Black people being ignorant than he.   I know the old saying: “Mama’s baby, Papa’s maybe.” But, contrary to popular belief, Black men love their children.   Everyone loves children.   Even if Black men realize that they aren’t bringing much to a household, they know that there is magic there.   That magic might be scary, like all magic, but it’s there.   There isn’t much difference between the love that develops between a man and a child with his D.N.A.   and a man that a child that he has raised. I am my father’s son.   No, I’m not light skinned or a hustler, but I laugh when I hear something funny.   I’ll sit on a porch and dink liquor all Saturday morning.   My toes are extraordinarily long (just like his).   I will see a beautiful woman and take notice just because I am a man and that’s what a man does.   My dad raised me well. When you see a Black man on Maury, y...
2 comments
Read more

Admit it. You Don't Like Black Women You Can't Beat Up

Relax, I'm not calling you gay.  Unless, you're gay.  Then I''m calling you gay.... Okay let's move on. So Gilbert Arenas went on Instagram the other day to shame the WNBA for not looking like the lingerie football league (or Legends Football League, as it is officially named).  I usually would dismiss the ravings of a single dumb nigga but I couldn't because while driving home, I was at the end of the Atmosphere album and I had to turn on the radio. This is a problem because the radio was on the D.L. Hughley show.  D.L. got himself in to hot water a couple of years ago for basically agreeing with the "nappy headed hoes" remark from the Don Imus show.  Of course, D.L. completely agreed with Gilbert.  Ugh, so much sexist, racist shit to cover but let's sally forth. The pattern here is that these women are mostly Black, all strong, and none are there for the sexual consumption of men.  What do men of all colors do when confronted with this?  W...
Post a Comment
Read more