It has dawned on me (several times) that the Maury Povich
Show is basically the same damned thing over and over. But I was thinking, there’s got to be a way
to make this shit more exciting. With
that in mind, for all of you jobless midday drinkers and alcoholic insomniacs:
The Maury Povich Drinking Game
(First one to get pregnant loses)
(First one to get pregnant loses)
Black Woman with
multi colored weave: All minorities
drink
Teenage White girl on
stage: All White people drink
Black man with White
Baby momma: Everybody drink
White man with Black
Baby momma: Change the channel; you’re watching the wrong show
Someone Belly Flops
on couch: Chug until they fall on floor
Someone Belly Flops
on Floor: Chug until they get up
Someone calls him ‘Murray’:
Everybody Drink
Multiple Baby
Momma’s: Drink for each kid
Someone dances on
stage: Everyone of that sex drinks and imitates dance
Audience Boos:
Everyone drink Booze
Audience Cheers:
Cheers to everyone… so drink
Somebody’s mama shows
up: All women drink and promise not to
be her one day
Security on Stage:
Drink until they disappear
Maury says results
are shocking: Waterfall
Maury ask for ‘America’s
opinion’: Last person to grab a phone has to call number, then drink
Lie Detector fail:
Man fails, men drink. Women fails, women drink (per question)
Lie Detector
pass: Woman passes, men drink. Man passes, women drink (per question)
Every time someone
says “You are” or “not the father” before Maury reads the results, whichever sex is wrong, that one
finishes their cup
Dramatic turn toward
camera during intro: Drink every time but you can’t look at your cup
Someone sleeps with
spouse’s/significant other’s relative: Everyone drinks and blurts the name of
their sexiest relative on count of 3.
Obese woman on
stage: 10 sit-ups for all women
Skinny man on stage:
All men do 10 pushups
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