Kaptain Kirk and the Tea Party

I figured it out.  I did.  I know why the tea party and rich white people hate the government.  Once again, it all goes back to Star Trek.

You see, one particularly strange episode of Star Trek, the Enterprise was above a planet that was all fashioned like a 1920’s mob run city.  I mean, everybody was a gangster.  They even rocked the fedoras and suits.  To make a long story short, the crew didn’t want to interfere with a developing planet (prime directive), so they got dressed as gangsters and infiltrated the planet to keep the whole world from going into gang war turmoil.  When all was said and done they all returned to the Enterprise but somebody (Bones I think) dropped his communicator, which meant that the gangster planet might reverse engineer it and develop much faster as a people.  Captain Kirk wasn’t too upset because they just kinda violated the prime directive; he was worried because eventually the mob planet might try to move in on Kirk and the gang’s part of the action in this galactic mob truce they just worked out.

Back in America, Planet Earth, the United States government has functioned primarily to keep business interests healthy.  Don’t let the American Care Act fool you, it’s about to funnel trillions of dollars to who?  That’s right, insurance and pharmaceutical companies… it is big business at work again.  That is probably the real reason John Roberts didn’t kill it in the SCOTUS. 

Now, after the government has taken drastic action to bail out the banking and auto industries (which probably saved the country, by the way) people found out what the government was doing with their cut of the action and they started acting a fool.  They decided they wanted to move on Captain Kirk’s… I mean President Obama’s piece of the action and that… my friends is the Tea Party.

The fundamental flaw in the message of the Tea Party is that the government is getting in the way of business when the sole purpose of the government in modern times has been to support business interest.   You could argue that the Tea Party wants to put more money in the pockets of individuals but the only real reason people want money in their pockets is so they can exchange it for goods and services from businesses at one point or another.  The space gangsters wouldn’t cut in on Kirk’s action just to pay the Enterprise for protection money.  The Tea Party is essentially shooting themselves in the foot if they actually believe their own rhetoric… but they don’t.  They know shooting themselves in the feet is so not gangster.  But, what is gangster is finding a reason to move in on somebody else.  The bailouts were just a catalyst.  It was McCoy’s dropped communicator.

This nation was built on a lot of gangster shit so it only makes sense.  Killing a race of native peoples, gangster.  Enslaving another race, gangster.  Throwing the King of England back across the Atlantic, instilling a for-profit healthcare system, invading Vietnam so you can sell more helicopters… gangster, gangster, gangster. 

With all the Indians gone and economic imperialism fizzling out, there is only one person for any group of gangsters to move on… The Federation…I mean U.S. government.  The first black boss of all bosses is a question mark, why not test him?

I don’t know what the Captain Kirk would have done with the Tea Party.  It would probably involve sex with a woman dressed like Betsy Ross, which is out of the question for Barack.  All I know is that there is only one thing that gangsters understand, that is the fear of someone being more gangster than they are.  Barack needs to do some serious gangster shit real soon and getting people healthcare isn’t it.